when your brain has trouble...

22 Febbraio 2012, 13:59pm

Pubblicato da peter.in.wonderland

It' s been a long time since I wrote on this blog for the last time. It's because reently I've had some problems with myself. Before having trouble, I was only too tired to write something.

I'm in front of my pc, trying to work. But today (like in the past months) is quite hard. I feel uncomfortable with my life. I feel always tired, nervous and depressed. I can't see the beauty around me, even though I have a lovely husband who's taking care of me in every way. He's so patient with me, also when I have fits of nerves (which have became quite frequent). He suggested me (well, I should say "he prayed me to"...) to go to my personal doctor and explain my problem. My husband was afraid of a possible - and not well identified - disease.

The doctor asked me to do lots of blood analysis. In case of negative answer, he said, we should have checked on my nerves.

My body is incredibly ok: I am in very good health and of course I'm happy of it. But now the question is: what's wrong with me? Why am I so tired of living? So nervous? So sad? Sometimes I feel incredibly lonely or it seems that every little broblem could not be solved. I feel like my life is going away without any control and I don't want to! I have lots of things to do, I'm too young to go crazy for stress. I want to travel, to see the world, to take care of my husband. I want to have a family with him. I want to taste the beauty of life. But above all, I would like to be able to experiment problems and trouble with self-control.

My doctor suggested me to find someone to talk with and maybe to stay at home and totally relaxed for a couple of weeks.

I'll follow his suggestion, sure. But I don't think I'll stay at home: I feel useless without working.

I keep saying that I want to change my life. Now I really need it because I think I'm going mad. I need something very important to take care of, I need to make a real priority order.

I think I quite know the source of my trouble. It's my job. I am tired of it, it's useless and without gratifications for me.

I am so sad: there was a time when I was so shine and when I loved it so much.... It was a kind of priority for me.

But now it's over, my job is taking all my energies without paying me. It's my real trouble.

I need to find something alse to think about, I need to accept that work is not the main aspect in my life.

Because work it's not the main aspect in nobody's life, probably.

Commenta il post